Plannin' On It

On anger management and social media

scholvin:

My name is John Scholvin and I have an anger problem.

Along with rugged good looks and luxurious, silvery hair, I inherited a vicious temper from my dad. I wish it could have been his jump shot or golf swing, but instead, it’s the ability to go from idle to redline in a couple of milliseconds.

I’ve been working on managing it for twenty years. My anger has damaged me personally and professionally. It’s something I have to be continually aware of to subdue. I’ve become pretty good at keeping it under control over the years. Part of it is probably just age and a natural change in my endocrine chemistry. Beyond that, I have techniques for quelling the rage when it rises, techniques which work well if I apply them early enough. That’s tricky: when it happens, it happens fast, and when it gets to a certain point, there’s no dialing back.

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This. Though for me it takes the form of anxiety rather than anger. When those trigger issues show up, they consume my whole day. I think about it constantly, whether I respond or not. And I’ve learned not to respond, because arguing on the Internet always makes it worse.

So I’ve become pretty quick to unfollow. It doesn’t mean I suddenly hate that person, it’s just that they have an opinion I’ll never agree with (or they posted a spoiler the same night something airs MY GOD WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DOES THAT), and rather than being stressed by it, I just have to avoid it. Sometimes I’ll be reminded of the person by a reblog or retweet and I’ll start following them again. It’s not personal, just one of the things I have to do to get through the day.